Your back hurts because your marriage is shit
No, not you. Well, maybe. Physical pain and emotional stress are related
The other day, a client returned for his follow-up visit.
“How did you do?” I asked.
“Terrible! No change. It’s just the same!” he said, almost proudly, as if that would confirm there was nothing that could be done.
“Well, I’ve been doing this for a long time, and when there is absolutely no improvement, then it’s one of two things: physical stress or emotional stress,” I said.
I asked him if he had done anything physical that could have hurt him since the last visit. “No, absolutely not,” he replied. “I’d been in pain within hours after my last visit.”
He said, “The last time it hurt this much was right before my surgery.”
This man had undergone lumbar surgery before, so I inquired about what was happening emotionally around the time of his spinal surgery.
“Well, I was stressed. I was going through a divorce,” he replied.
I acknowledged that this was indeed a lot of stress. Knowing that he had remarried, I asked how his marriage was now. He almost didn’t let me finish the question when he said, “Fine!”
A-ha! That was it! There Is something there!
I explained to him that emotions are neither good nor bad, but when they are suppressed, is when they become toxic and harmful. I told him it wasn’t any of my business the details of his situation, but I wanted him to focus on the emotions he was suppressing.
Just him thinking this made him go into fight-or-flight mode. His neck muscles contracted, were sensitive to touch and then I dug into his lower back slightly and he was very pain sensitive in his lumbars where he was complaining the issue was.
I made him stay in the state he was “keep thinking about your wife” and adjusted him.
Afterwards, he came up and said there was no pain. Had him do movements that he couldn’t do before because he had been in such pain.
So what if he had dealt with the emotion prior to having the surgery? Would he have still needed it? Probably not. In my experience, once we get a client to understand the relationship between emotions, stress and the physical body…they seem to get it.
While this applies to everyone, as men I feel we are not taught how to deal with our emotions, much less acknowledge and deal with what lies beneath.
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Great post. I feel it's important to remember that we all have blind spots (including doctors). I never like to be called on my S#!t, and I might defend my position in the moment, but I usually acknowledge the other person was right.