Things I Wish I Could Tell My Clients (But Probably Shouldn’t)

My filter fails me sometimes,

I love my job, I really do. Helping people feel better, getting their bodies back in line-it’s why I show up every day.

But some of my clients?

Some of them act like I’m a magician who can fix years of you ignoring their body in one session.

So, here’s the unfiltered truth—what I’d really like to say when they’re sitting there, complaining, not listening, and interfering with their own healing process. Buckle up, because I’m not holding back.

• There’s nothing wrong with you! Just keep getting adjusted regularly, and for God’s sake, stop going to the medical doctor.

• Stop saying you don’t know what happened.

• You didn’t even try it out before; you’re saying it still hurts. Move around a little!

• No, I’m not doing the fucking ring-dinger that you saw someone do on TikTok.

• No, it’s not because you’re old. It’s because you don’t take care of yourself.

• You’re only 35; you’re not allowed to say you’re old.

• No wonder you don’t listen to your body—you can’t shut up for five seconds to listen to anything!

• Yes, like I’ve told you countless times before-the nervous system controls everything, that’s why you feel great after an adjustment.

• No, I don’t really know why that other chiropractor does the “Flying 7” on all their clients

• You’re the problem.

• No, I’m not making it hurt. It hurts already. I’m trying to fix this.

• Your attitude sucks. No wonder everything hurts.

• You’ve been coming to see me for years, but only when something hurts. The best I can do when you’re hurting is get you out of pain. Imagine if you came in when you’re not in pain—maybe we could really accomplish something then! (Oh, yeah—I do tell them this already!)

• You hate your (job/wife/kids) and you wonder why you’re having health issues?

• It’s not arthritis. Your doctor just wants you to shut up about that pain.

• Tell your doctor that I said he doesn’t know what the hell he is talking about!

• You’d be better off if you flushed all those medications down the toilet and started over.

• How’s that surgery worked out for you? What number surgery is that?

• A little bit of exercise isn’t going to kill you.

I know that makes me sound like i’m grumpy all the time, but that’s just not true. Most of my clients think that I’m just there to fix the pain, but I am freeing, directing life force-allowing it to flow freely throughout the body.

“I suffer for my art”

a client said this quote explains what I feel. I think it’s a bit harsh.

What would you say to YOUR people?

Live Long and prosper!

_Dan